In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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