It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
