Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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