Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
he puts the penis in happiness.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
