I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
