Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
