I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
