Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
PANTIES FOUND
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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