I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
