just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
