Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i permit you to call me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He? As in you personified your dick?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
