Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
