I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Non-Jews are for practice
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
