I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
No subtext here. People are naked.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
