why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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