So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
