so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
