I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
