Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's never too late to be topless.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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