I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
