My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
