Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
