Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
