i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
