im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
