O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
