Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
