You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
