She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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