Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
