I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So squirting runs in the family.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
