Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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