i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
