wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize