Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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