Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I look better un-naked...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
