did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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