My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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