i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
worst night to have a conscience
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
