No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
