so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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