Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
