It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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