I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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