I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
