My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
