I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize