Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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