I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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