i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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