He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm like, not good at living.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
