is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
