East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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