Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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