hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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