After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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