I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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